Since I am the one who started this, I am going to change the rules a little bit...is that okay with everyone? I decided that the year I turned 30 (2012) would be my limit for accomplishing my list, instead of the year I am 30, which would be from April 2012 to April 2013. There has been a lot of discussion about this with my friends, but my intention was to accomplish everything in the year of 2012. As you can see from the last blog post, I am not going to finish in the next month. And things have come up which continue to disrupt my list.
I mentioned that I had been running, yes, that is past tense now. I say that with a little bit of a pride and a lot of disappointment. For the first time ever, I was dedicated to running. I was up to 10 miles! That is huge for me. I still wasn't liking it, but hey, I was getting it done, and I was really looking forward to running the St. Jude Half Marathon with my friends. They inspired me to do it when they all ran it last year, but 3 weeks ago I started having trouble with my heart. And I wasn't even running when it happened. I began to have palpitations, which I could only describe as my heart feeling funny. It was a constant flutter. After two days of that, I went to the doctor where we went through multiple tests, and I have had the palpitations, chest pain, shortness of breath and fatigue since. So I went from running 10 miles to barely being able to walk around the grocery store without losing my breath or getting chest pain, fun times. I saw a cardiologist last week and I have mitral valve prolapse. It's not dangerous, just annoying. I had to stop running when all this started and before we knew what it was, which was a bummer, not so much because I miss running but because I put in so much training time, and I am sad that I won't be able to run the half marathon with my friends. We are all still going and now I get to play "team mom," which is probably a much better role for me than "runner." But I am going to have to learn to live with the symptoms and fight through them to get back to working out. I am on medication and still struggle daily with the issues that come along with this, but the doctor says that there may be times when the symptoms go away, so lets pray for that! The doctor said I will just have to deal with it but can live life normally. So I am hoping to get back to that soon!
With all that being said, I am extremely grateful. Though there have been a few different health issues I have to deal with over the last few years, God is still good. I am so incredibly blessed and in awe of who He is. Over the last few days, many of you have probably thought about all the things you are thankful for, but I heard a great message about how our thankfulness shouldn't come only when we are told to think about it—it should come from our persistent pursuit of the Lord.
Our circumstances are going to change—life gets crazy, things happen, pain comes, trials are there—but God is constant and never changing. There will be times in our life when everything isn't good, but in everything God is still good. Our circumstances don't define who we are, God does. So with that, I am challenging myself that no matter what, I have a heart of gratefulness. It's easy to ask God "why" we go through things but never doubt that He is sovereign over your life. He never leaves us or forsakes us. And no matter what, we are to give thanks.
“Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)
I want to encourage you to listen to this sermon from one of the pastors at Pinelake. I hope this can be encouraging to you and challenge you, no matter what is going in your life.
Thanks to all of you who have prayed with me and for me as I walked in a season of the unknown the last few weeks. I am so grateful to have answers and look forward to getting back to normal.